I’ve been busy and haven’t really been posting here much despite continuing to have fun and to explore my kinky side. So maybe it’s time for a change, a fresh lick of paint and a few fun adventures. If nothing else I can spend some time playing with WordPress and tweaking this blog a little.
Let’s see what happens…
When I try to look back at the past year of blogging it’s difficult to see much change from last year.
My relationships have continued, loving and special and I’m very lucky to be so loved. Perhaps though, quiet happiness is not the most interesting story (to anyone other than myself).
My kink has been fun and rewarding but far too often displaced by real life. I’ve not managed to get nearly the amount of rope work done that I had hoped; it’s been too long since I even picked up any.
This blog itself is still here. I’ve done some reviews, taken some photos, shared my thoughts and feelings. Even when it’s been difficult, I’ve kept this blog alive, making sure I wrote something regularly. I’ve been surprised by just how much the reviews are read, more popular even than nude photographs.
Still, this blog helps me keep track of my kink successes, lets me share my Boy’s delightful antics and reminds me to keep that part of my life in focus.
Let’s see what this year brings.
It’s not often I feel the need to write here about someone else’s blog post but today is an exception.
Tomio Black wrote about how his Domme makes him feel. Go and read it.
It’s beautiful. It’s eloquent and expressive. It’s sexy.
Most of all, if I’m honest, it’s how I want to make my boy feel. If I* could make him feel like that, I’d be a real Domme. In many ways that post is everything I aspire to.
In it he says he wants dominant women “to have a glimpse of what they are, and why they are so beautiful, through my eyes.” In doing so he’s captured exactly why submissive men are so beautiful in mine.
*Perhaps I do make Mat feel like that. I don’t know. It would be presumptuous of me to assume his feelings, no matter what I hope for.
I was writing a fantasy, one I intended for eventual publication here and I was getting increasingly turned on by the scenario I was describing.
Then as I was contemplating my writing I realised something about the way I write fantasies.
When I’m writing, my characters are real to me. It feels as though they have a separate existence which I have a window on. My writing forces them to live through those experiences and I not only control what happens to them I also control how they feel about it.
As I go over a scene, refining my mental image of it, they can be forced to live though it several different ways until I have found the most satisfactory outcome (interestingly the beginning of the ‘Story of O‘ effectively uses this as an opening gambit). Often the final outcome depends on how the characters behave in my mind. Their reactions influence my writing (I said they were real to me).
In many ways this is the ultimate Domme trip. I can torture them or delight them again and again. I can abuse them, humiliate them and force them to willingly do anything I wish.
Best of all I can get just the reaction I want. I can make them love it or hate it or better still desire it with a mingling of shame and embarrassment that puts them firmly in their place.
My characters are my bitches and I get off on playing with them.
No wonder I can’t stop writing.
Nominations have opened for the top sex bloggers list of the year but actually I’m not asking you to nominate me here. Yes, you read that right; in fact here’s why you shouldn’t nominate me for the top sex bloggers list.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to be nominated. I’d get unreasonably excited just to be mentioned and actually making the list would be an even bigger thrill. After all some of the blogs on previous incarnations of that list are awesome, they’re the sort of blogs that get thousands of hits a day and many, many comments and are well, well worth reading.
The thing is that this blog isn’t really in that league. I don’t get vast numbers of readers and quite honestly that’s not what I’m writing for. This blog is about recording my personal sexual journey of discovery, it’s a way to reach out and make new friends and a way to enjoy my slightly exhibitionist side from time to time.
Of course you may be reading this thinking ‘well I don’t really know about this list but hey, what does it matter, I could nominate this blog anyway just to be nice’. The thing is that I really don’t want that. If I ever make it on to that list I want it to be on merit, because somebody really thought that these ramblings are good enough that they should be shared (not likely now is it) and not just because I pointed at it and went ‘pick me, pick me’!
What does mean a lot to me though is that you few who do read my blog sometimes care enough to comment, especially when you’re bloggers yourselves. I know I’m the ultimate lurker myself but I do read your blogs in return and I do appreciate your encouragement and your perceptions very much. So instead of nominating me for an honour I haven’t yet earned, do me a favour and add a comment here and let me know what I do well here and what I can do better. Or just say ‘hi’.
It’ll be very much appreciated.