One Wise Man

The Christmas story is supposed to contain wise men. Here is a story of one of them.

I’m going away for Christmas to see my family. Not ‘around the corner’ away, or even ‘across the country’ away, no this is ‘the other side of the world’ away. With that comes timezone changes and means I can no longer rely on free, instant communication wherever I am.
So I will be further away from my boyfriend than I have ever been, for longer than I have ever been, with less communication with him than I have ever had.

For me this is a cause of huge insecurity. Long distance relationships have always seemed to lead to long distance breakups. While right now I feel loved, confident and happy; at the same time a little voice keeps nagging me ‘what if you’re wrong’.
So I’m afraid to go, afraid to come back, afraid of the future.

Enter one wise man stage left. [You may use two coconuts for an unconvincing camel sound effect if you wish.]

My boyfriend has amazed me with his reaction.
He listened to my fears, seriously, without belittling them or me.
He told me that he loves me, that he will be there when I return. He told me this directly, looking me in the eye. I know he was telling me the simple truth and that means so much to me.

Still I am insecure, this is an emotional reaction I cannot fully control.
Then, my darling really took my breath away. He didn’t blame me for feeling insecure. Instead he told me that he would not tell me again that he would still be there, because it wouldn’t help me; that the only thing that would convince me was time, was coming back and finding him there.

Nothing he could have said could have calmed me more than that simple statement. Nothing could have made me feel more loved and understood. These are my emotions, mine to fight and control. No desperate avowal of promises can override my fears, but coming home to find our love unchanged will strengthen my faith and confidence immeasurably.

For all he is my boy, he is also a very wise man and I respect him incredibly deeply for that and love him more than I can say.

I look forward to coming home to him.