Another year passes and it is time to pause and look at the view from here.
I had some resolutions for this year. One was to meet new people. I made a real effort to do this and am delighted to have made several new friends. One of those friends turned out to be more important than I could possibly have expected. From two submissives meeting for coffee and a chat to a Domme and her boy falling in love together was a short step but utterly unexpected. That resolution and that coffee have shaped my entire year and this blog.
Indeed I wanted to continue writing the blog and I have ended up writing far more than I would have expected and received more feedback than I ever hoped for. I am very grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read or comment.
I also wanted to make the people I loved happy, that perhaps I have done least well at. Perrin’s depression has been a real challenge for me to deal with and I struggle with the implications of that still.
So what have I learned this year?
I’ve learned how important it is to stick to the rules of a relationship and to discuss them honestly.
I’ve learned that I can (sometimes) have sex without commitment and it can be a lot of fun.
I’ve learned that I have a dominant side and that expressing that is extremely satisfying.
For next year I want to explore my dominant side further and grow in confidence. I want to find a niche for my submissive side, a way of expressing what I need within the limitations I currently have. I hope Mat and I continue to grow in our relationship and build a deeper understanding into the love and passion we share. I hope to help Perrin find his own happiness again and see him his true self again. I think I have my work cut out for me but I’m going to give it my very best shot and, of course, I will continue to chronicle my progress here.
When I started this blog a year ago, I had some simple hopes for the year.
Firstly, to sustain my new years resolution, to not deny my kinky side and to explore it.
I hoped to discover other kinky people, to convince myself that I was not alone in a purely vanilla world.
I hoped also, possibly, to find some more sexual and kinky fun for both myself and Perrin to enjoy.
I think all those aims have been met this last year. Indeed, our adventures of the past year have exceeded my wildest expectations, bringing much more excitement and fun than I could have conceived of a year ago.
Even when we started this blog however, we entitled it ‘Changing Views’ because we knew that we would learn new things about ourselves, others and the world. We knew that we would grow and change.
So what have I learned this year.
Firstly that kink is an important part of our lives, and most importantly is a lot of fun.
Secondly that Perrin and I prefer being sexual with people we love, but that we have big hearts and there’s plenty of space for people in there.
Thirdly that getting involved with people who are cheating on a partner is a sure-fire recipe for heartbreak and disaster.
Now it’s time to look forward to moving on to new adventures, so I consider here some hopes for the next year.
I hope to continue to encounter new people, to make new friends, and enjoy time with them.
I want to continue writing this blog, exploring my own inner space, and learning about myself.
Most of all I want to cherish all the special people I already know, giving them affection and joy, making this year a good year for everyone I love.
Happy New Year.
Beginning is always the hardest part.
Life is ever-changing, and that is certainly the joy of it. As this year has rolled around, my life has rolled with it, and brought me to a place both old and new. To recognise my submissive nature, and to realise that it is truly part of who I am, and that I will not be at peace unless I can accept it.
This part of me, I have never been able to express clearly. This then is my chance to speak. To say what is easier in writing than spoken aloud, for He Who Listens to me. To tell someone how it feels to be me, even if there is no reply.
A place to explore the complexities of love and desire; with and for, the man who knows me so well, and gives me the freedom to be myself.