TMI Tuesday – 19 November 2013

Sex, I wonder if I understand it at all.

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction

1. From erotica to sex blogs everyone seems to be having intense orgasms. Do you feel like you are experiencing the same intense orgasmic waves everyone talks about?
I don’t think I’ve ever had an ‘orgasmic wave’ but I’ve not really read about anyone else having one either, so I don’t feel I’m missing out.

2. At the beginning of our sexual lives, we are often let down because it feels like nothing in comparison to what we see in films and magazines. Sexual pleasure is something you learn more about as you get older. How have you learned to cultivate the pleasure that you feel?
I started my journey of sexual discovery on my own as a small child, so I’m self taught. I’m also naturally curious and open minded, so I’m simply learning as I go.

3. In the last 3 years, has your sexual pleasure:
a. waned
b. stayed the same
c. increased, enhanced, improved
Actually, I’d find it hard to compare directly. mostly it has just changed and developed.

4. If you are feeling much more sexual pleasure than your lover do you feel the need to make up the deficit or just live in the moment and enjoy what has been given to you?
I’m very happy to just lie back and let my Boy pleasure me. It’s what he’s for, after all.

5. How important is it to you for you and your lover to have simultaneous orgasms?
a. not important – never thought about it
b. somewhat important – I think it would be nice to explode at the same time
c. important – that is what I ‘work’ for, cumming at the same time makes everything more intense–my orgasm, my feelings, the entire experience.
Perrin and I have been known to manage simultaneous orgasms and it’s lovely to share the moment. I wouldn’t want to be expected to do that all the time though. plus, it’s lovely to focus on one person’s pleasure completely.

Bonus: Do you think that having an orgasm is the same as sexual pleasure? Why or why not?
They are most definitely not the same. My pleasure in kink is most definitely sexual in origin but it doesn’t need to involve orgasm, or indeed physical contact, or even taking my clothes off. Sex is so much more than that…

TMI Tuesday – 8 October 2013

It’s been a while but I thought I’d share some answers.

In Real Life

1. Create your perfect job. What do you do?
I work in the theatre; both on and off stage. There’s something about live performance which is as heady to me as the buzz I get from kink. Sometimes those two have a lot in common.

2. What person has changed you for the better?
Everyone who loves me changes me for the better. They’re teaching me to be happier and more relaxed. It’s a slow lesson but I’m working on it.

3. Cat person or dog person?
That’s hard. Cats don’t give as much emotional commitment as dogs but then again I dislike having to pick up shit. Toilet trained puppy?

4. Who is your favourite relative? Why?
I wouldn’t dream of choosing a favourite from my living relatives but the one I miss most is my Grandad. He made me laugh, had adventures with me and helped me be stronger.

5. Mop the floor or iron clothes?
Mop the floor. I get a lot of satisfaction from a clean floor (and I’m better at it).

6. Which would you rather have, a swimming pool or a gardener? Why?
Swimming pool. I want to swim naked.

Bonus: Are you better at giving oral sex or receiving oral sex?
Receiving. Mat can give a much better blow job than me by far.


TMI Tuesday – 18 December 2012

Sexy isn’t necessarily the same thing as sex which I realised was important to me as I wrote my answers.

The Sexiest Thing

1. What is the sexiest thing you’ve done in the last two months?
For sheer emotional intensity it was this. It didn’t involve having sex or even getting naked but it was awesome.

2. What is the sexiest thing you’ve worn in the last 30 days?
If the reaction I got is the measure, then ‘licky’ knickers and a long purple skirt.

3. What is the sexiest thing you’ve watched in the last 30 days?
Two guys kissing. Completely naturally, full of real affection and caring. I just happened to turn round and see it and it was a beautiful, private, intimate moment.

4. What is the sexiest thing you’ve heard in the last two weeks?
My lover’s voice but I’m not going to tell you what he said.

5. What is the sexiest thing you’ve said in the last 24 hours?
“Scream as loud as you like Boy but you’re getting fucked”. It must have been good because my boy came just after I said it.

Bonus: Tell us or show us something sexy.
Take your pick.

I Answer a Few Questions

Cherry Doll posted these questions on FetLife; they are her questions as a submissive. They fascinated me because some of them are questions I would ask as a submissive, some are questions I would love to be asked as a Domme and some are simply good questions for any relationship at all.
I don’t know Cherry personally so I’ve attempted to answer them as though they were being asked by a hypothetical* submissive of mine.

1. When you ask questions while you’re fucking/beating/whatevering me, do you really want me to answer?
In general yes. Certainly if the question is ‘are you ok?’. If it sounds more rhetorical then perhaps you just thinking about it is enough but if I repeat it then answer me.

2. How would you like me to give you feedback? (Both positive and negative.)
While holding me close or at least touching me skin-to-skin. The closer we are physically the easier it is for me to listen to you. Put me at arms length and I’ll get defensive (yes even of positive comments).

3. Do I always have permission to say no/stop/slow down regardless of the action or our relationship?
Always. I’d like it to be in a way that we can exit gracefully together but if you need something to stop then it does.

4. What do you think about my hair? Honestly.
You already know. I love stroking it and pulling it, isn’t that answer enough.

5. Will you do that thing that you love with me? Not only with me, but definitely with me.
Oh yes. I love to share the things I enjoy.

6. Will you sometimes do that thing that I love with me?
Equally yes, assuming it’s possible, if not I’ll share the fantasy with you.

7. Will you use me (beat on me/tie me up/smack me around/fuck me) even though maybe I didn’t do anything “wrong” or “right” or even though it’s not a play party but just because it feels good and makes all the other bullshit seem way more like trivial bullshit?
Yes, yes, yes. This. I want to use you because it feels good, because it makes the rest of the world less stressful and less important. I want to use you because it makes me feel centred, connected to you. It’s not a reward or a punishment, it’s just us.

8. If I’m generally quiet, but you like noise, and you tell me to be louder, do you want me to … fake reactions? Do you want me to just turn up my amp and scream more? Do you want me to ask you to do more of what you’re doing?
Don’t ever fake a reaction to me, how can I know what works for you if you do that. I love listening to the noises you make naturally, especially the little tiny ones. Just be yourself.

9. How would you like to hear that I want to spend more time with you?
‘I’d like to spend more time with you’. Just tell me.

10. How would you like to hear that I’m feeling a bit jealous and would like your help working through it?
‘I’m feeling a bit jealous, can you work through it with me?’ Directness is only going to help here.

11. How can I tell you that I’m scared but I don’t want you to stop?
‘I’m a bit scared’. That’s likely to get reassurance and double checking (‘are you ok?’). Scared can be good fun though, I won’t actually stop unless you then ask me too.

12. If we’re in public, and I hear or see you doing something that contradicts what you’ve done or said previously, or if I know it to be wrong, how would you like me to let you know?
Gently (see #2). Privately if you can, my ego is easily bruised, but please do tell me.

13. Is it ok for me to ask for things?
Always. I’m not a mind reader; the more you let me know what you want the more I can try and ensure both of us get what we want.

14. Even silly things sometimes?
Especially silly things. I’d love to make silly things happen for you.

15. How can I thank you for this?
By asking me questions when you need to and answering mine honestly and openly.

*Who is clearly not entirely dissimilar to Mat except that he wouldn’t ask these questions.

TMI Tuesday – 27 March 2012

I’m a huge lover of songs and lyrics so I could hardly resist having a go at these questions. I’ve limited myself to one song per answer but it was tough.

A Song For You

Answer the following questions using only song titles. Make sure you link to the song or the song’s lyrics so that we can listen to or read the song.

1. What is your present state of mind?
One Day like This – Elbow
I’m in love and happy and this song says all of that.

2. How do you feel about your spouse, significant other, or someone you lust for?
Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden
“I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy”

3. Describe your job.
It’s Five O’clock Somewhere – Alan Jackson
Sometimes you just need a stiff drink.

4. What are you hungry for?
Hungry For Love – Alistair Griffin
This song is one of my favourites to drive to. “I … need the sensation of falling completely out of myself”

5. What’s your favourite colour?
Red and Purple – The Dodos
I’m not claiming to like this song; I’d never heard it before today but realising that I didn’t know many colour related songs I did a quick Google for my favourite colours and there they both were in the title of this one.

6. What gets you excited?
Bad Things – Jace Everett
“I want to do bad things to you”

7. Who do you think you are?
Share It With Me – All About Eve
“She’s selfish and crazy which isn’t so far from the truth”

Bonus: Describe your life. Feel free to elaborate on your song choice.
Affirmation – Savage Garden
I like this song because it is incredibly positive and I believe many of the things in it. Obviously though most of the songs above also describe at least part of my life too.