Five A Day – Back to the Supermarket

After the recent incident of the boy and the banana it was inevitable that other fruits or vegetables would eventually follow…


It started with a trip to a well known supermarket, to stock Mat up with groceries.
Over coffee (it was a very civilised shopping trip) we laughed over the helpful suggestion from one of our dear readers that a zucchini should be next in line for his ass. Luckily being reasonably fluent in American cooking I was able to translate that into (the more recognisable to English readers) courgette. At this point I suggested that our shopping should include a representative of this delicious vegetable, and was met with a beautifully disbelieving look.
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Tesco knows I’m kinky

I was on a shopping trip to Tesco a few days ago. While wondering around the aisles I found their sports section.
In what is probably a new line for them, were a selection of horse riding equipment.

Now, I had been looking for a crop to add to our toy collection for some time. Well I say looking, the reality was I’d bottled out of going into one of the local riding stores: “No I don’t ride myself. It’s for a friend. No, really!”

It was easy to slip one into the trolley – I hid it under some leeks.

As I walked around the rest of the store, I wondered how many of these were bought for kinky usage. Who actually bought riding equipment in Tesco *for riding*? It’s not as if it’s particularly high quality.

As I went through the checkout (aren’t the self scanning tills useful?), I unthinkingly scanned my clubcard. Somewhere, deep in some Tesco computer bank, my record has been marked as into kink.

I wonder if I’ll get vouchers for rope next month?