Public Collar

For some time now I’ve had my leather collar. It’s beautiful, and comfortable to wear. I love the effect it has too, transforming us into Master and slave, clarifying and focusing our relationship.

The collar though must inherently remain hidden, and that limits its use more than we might always wish.
We’ve known for some time that the solution to this was to have a public collar, one that could be worn in public without attracting attention, but that would carry a similar meaning to the leather one.

Another idea came together with this one, when Perrin wished to give Amy, his good girl, a collar. That too needed to be something she could wear away from us, that would not give itself away.

Perrin is never one to do things by halves, in this case this means making the collar himself. Thus it is truly fitted to us, and an intimate gift, as well as a reminder of our status. I had been privileged to be part of the design process, and my presence meant my collar had been fitted to me in advance.

When we were all together, there came the moment when Perrin told me to kneel, and fastened the chain around my throat. I whispered a grateful “Thank you Sir”, before moving aside to watch Amy kneel in my place. Perrin adjusted the length of chain and secured the collar around her throat. I heard her echo my reply and was struck by the realisation that he had not only given me a collar he had also given me a sister-submissive to share with.

I am still striving to understand the implications of wearing this new collar, but I have quickly become very attached to it, and smile often at the thought of it, and at the thought of Amy wearing hers.

Muffins and More

Perrin brought me breakfast in bed this morning. My absolute favourite breakfast, cheese and bacon muffins (with chive butter). That’s only part of what has made today such a great day for me.

First, some history. We’ve said we are open to playing with others. Well some time ago each of us found a special person to play with. More than just someone to have sex with, these were people we cared for and about. People we wanted to be ‘more than friends’. Any jealousy we might have had about this opening of our hearts to others was automatically offset by the sheer symmetry of it. You love her? Well I love him. Simple.

Life is never that simple. My relationship crumbled. I had hoped to salvage something meaningful from it, but have been dodging the inescapable truth. He’s just not that into me. We may be friends, but we’re not Friends. End of.

But learning that hurts. And in the process I have become fragile, vulnerable, and uncertain. I’ve struggled to write here, finding it hard to find my sexy side. I don’t want to be like that!

So here I am, being brought breakfast in bed. I’m loved, wanted, I’m happy.

Then a switchback; while making my breakfast Perrin has been chatting on twitter, a sexy fun conversation, with another woman. I find this upsetting, which is ridiculous. Objectively, nothing gives me cause for concern.  But I’m unhappy. I’m envious, that he has women to talk to, while I feel alone. No one talks to me that way.

So here is the bit where my husband really loves me. He messages someone who I’d pointed out as interesting, to encourage them to talk to me. Then he makes love to me, and gives me a delightful orgasm, before going away to leave me to chat ‘freely’ with them.

I felt a little out of my depth here, I’d never had that kind of conversation on twitter before. Hey, I’m not sure I’ve ever had that kind of conversation. I did all my dating before mobile phones. you can’t talk dirty on a phone screwed to the wall. As I lay there, I realised how excited I was by this, talking dirty with a relative stranger. I relaxed into it, and let his images carry me away, secure in the knowledge that Perrin wanted me to enjoy this moment. Suddenly there I was, cumming, for the second time that day, this time for another man.

That moment buoyed me up, let me feel truly sexy again. I have been smiling all day. A smile only made wider when my sexy husband made love to me yet again earlier, and gave me my third orgasm of the day. Me, who usually struggles to have one!

I feel like myself again, for the first time in ages. It’s a good feeling.

My first night away

In a recent post, Caitlin mentioned our plans for playing with others. We’ve had a little experience over the years, and a bit more recently, but last week was the first time I’ve played with someone alone.

To give a little background, our relationship works because of the rules we set, and one that we set pretty early on was the difference between oral and penetrative sex. Caitlin has not had much experience of penetrative sex, as she feels that this is more special than giving pleasure to another in other ways. It requires more trust, and emotion – more of a connection with the other person.

Despite being a boy, and genetically more predisposed to “putting it about”, I’ve really come to appreciate this view.

We’ve been lucky enough to meet such a person, that we both liked and trusted, and she has become the first person I’ve had penetrative sex with since meeting Caitlin. As this was a big thing for us, Caitlin was also participating, which only made it all the more special for me, and, I hope, for Caitlin and her. Caitlin may write on this subject later.

The real subject of this post is that we got to take this to a new level last week when an opportunity arose for me to spend the night away with my new lover. Just writing this has me reliving the experience, one of the most enjoyable, emotional nights I’ve ever had. From the first moments after meeting up outside the tube, to when we parted the next day, we were focused on each other. Touches, looks, words, kisses. All intense and full of desire.

The other amazing thing, for me was falling asleep with her in my arms, and then waking up with her in the morning. Watching her calm sleeping face in the moments before she awoke, brought home to me the trust that sleeping with someone requires. Her smile, as she awoke, and saw me, was a delight.

At the same time, I had the knowledge that Caitlin wanted this for me. She had encouraged me to set it up, and had been full of love when she left for work.

Upon my return and hers from work, Caitlin and I shared a lingering kiss, before retiring to bed for some passionate love making of our own.

What a gift. From both of them. I am so lucky! Whatever can I give them in return?

Play with Us

Recently the topic of polyamory and sex with others seems to have become a hot topic, so here’s my take on it.

Perrin and I are open to the idea of play with other people. In reality though it’s not as simple as having sex with anybody you meet.

I guess the first point is that our relationship is strong and happy, sexually and platonically. I think it’s something which we feel free to indulge in now, when our own relationship can withstand any difficult moments. That relationship though comes first and that means a number of things.

It means that we share our fantasies, and our adventures. We discuss and enjoy the possibilities together even when the topic may be one of us having sex apart. There are no secrets. We’re honest about our feelings.

We set ground rules together, both general and specific and we stick to them (or explicitly agree to change them).

We each have a veto on any activity at any time. I’m only human, some days I’m happy (or even eager) to share, on others I need to pull back and demand my husband’s exclusive attention. Knowing that I’ll get it when I need it certainly enables me to share more easily. Knowing too that pangs of jealousy can be discussed, and soothed or respected as necessary is also important.

We’re choosy. We both have to feel comfortable with what we do and with whom. For me, there needs to be sexual chemistry, but also emotional and intellectual connection of some degree. Any partner has to be someone we’re both comfortable with. As I’ve explained, this isn’t an on off switch though. The rules can be complicated and changeable over time.

This sounds very selfish, and maybe it is, but first and foremost it protects our marriage which quite honestly is more important than casual sex with anybody no matter how desirable.

The best bit though, is that this framework means that we can play with others and enjoy it fully.

And really the buzz of your spouse helping you get ready to meet a lover is like nothing else. Not to mention the reaction when you get home.


Thank You Note

After all, politeness is important, even in fantasy.

It was an important meeting. She carried a briefcase and an overnight bag to the car, and kissed her husband goodbye. His hand trailed over her breasts, and she flushed slightly as she waved him goodbye, remembering the previous evening. He had found the sharpie in her briefcase, and had written on her breasts and pussy, before making love to her. The words were there still, concealed under her smart suit. She shook her head as if to clear it, she had a busy day ahead of her.

Continue reading “Thank You Note”