Sometimes It Is All About Me

Being a Domme is all about the submissive. I think I’ve mentioned this before.

But there are moments when that isn’t true. When my Boy runs me a bath with candles and bubbles. When he then washes me gently and massages my feet. When he climbs into the bath to provide me sexual pleasure.
I am warm and comfortable and lost in delight and not a little light-headed.

He helps me out gently and takes care of me.

Then I lie down on the bed and with his mouth he gives me pleasure, worshipping my cunt. He is gentle and patient. I am quiet, my mind drifting while my body enjoys his ministrations. Selfishly I relax into the pleasure, happy to enjoy it, to receive this gift. My hands stroke his head, his hair is soft and easy to hold on to.
The pleasure builds slowly without pressure until I find myself close to orgasm. Now my mind joins in, with sexual images to help carry me over that edge, to complete my pleasure.

I am gasping, shaking, and yet somehow still relaxed. I lie back down and am caressed and held. It is a perfect moment.
It is my perfect moment.

Not Really Submissive

I’ve been thinking about my ‘submissive’ fantasies and why I have them when I don’t really want to be submissive at all.

Actually when I look at it most (maybe all) of those fantasies are sexual. Let’s face it; ‘nice’ girls aren’t supposed to enjoy sex, these days it’s not even always safe to enjoy sex and anyway Dommes are supposed to be ice queens denying everybody sex.

So, that doesn’t leave many places to go with a slutty sexual fantasy. Whoever I am being, I’m not supposed to be the one being the centre of sexual attention (these days that’s surely Mat’s role) even if I’d like it. Plus while I like the idea of slutty sex (no I’m not putting the details in this post but you could read my fantasies for ideas), where on earth does one find clean, STD-free cock, that comes with an intelligent, considerate and consent aware person on the other end.
Actually, I can find those, but then when you like and respect the person on the other end, I feel rather uncomfortable about asking them to be part of my fantasies (especially if it involves multiple men which experience so far leads me to feel most men are less keen on).

Even the non-sexual aspects of those fantasies are about permission to enjoy myself, to enjoy sensations, pure physical moments without feeling guilty that I’m ‘making’ someone else do something for me, that they’re only doing it to please me, that I’m being selfish for demanding it of them.

Really (and I know some of my readers will throw something at the screen at this point) I don’t want to be a bother to anyone. Fantasies, especially submissive ones, are my way of setting up a scene where I know that I’m not a bother, where I can enjoy getting what I want, without asking and therefore without feeling guilty either for the desire itself or the imposition on someone else’s pleasure.

Whereas in real life I want (and need) to feel in control because trust does not come easy. Plus all that planning and negotiating is sometimes an unreasonable amount of effort for something I can happily enjoy in my head safely, any time I please, without any worries at all.

So fantasies are a great escape into great sex. For me, it doesn’t always need to be real, because in my head it always is.

My Own Private Gay Porn Show

Mat wanted cock; more than that, he needed it. It had become a hunger and he needed filling in every sense.

I approved his search for a man, someone who would let him suck his cock and, important to us both, would let me watch. I was surprised how quickly he found somebody, how quickly we managed to arrange a meeting.

We were nervous and approached cautiously. We were looking for someone who was looking for us. Our paths crossed with a man and we walked on.

“If that’s him”, Mat checked with me, “do you want to go through with this”.
“Yes”, I was suddenly more confident, “I do”.

We wheeled round and this time we all greeted each other. Nervously, hesitantly we made our way inside. The location was as described. Comfy chairs gave me somewhere to sit and watch. We kept the lights low but I could see perfectly well.

Mat kneeled in front of the man and began stroking him through his jeans. He looked sideways at me, putting on a show.

Still as I watched he forgot himself as the man in front of him instructed Mat in how to pleasure him, controlled him, fucked his face, used him.
I watched. I told Mat he was a Good Boy, I held his head and stroked his back and then sat back to watch some more. This was sexy and good.

This man knew how to use him, how to speak to him. I felt a tingle of electricity as I watched and listened.
“Some men are destined to suck other men’s cocks, don’t you think?”, he remarked to me.
Watching Mat with his mouth full, eagerly pleasuring him I felt inclined to agree.

When his kind benefactor gave him a face full of spunk I ran my fingers across Mat’s face, feeding it to him, watching him swallow it down eagerly.

This done we all sat back to relax, to chat and to agree that we might indeed like to do that again someday…soon.

 

Rope And Steel

Rope and SteelD/s has been struggling to find space in my life recently. Of course there are the little rituals that keep our lives ticking over but some things have been missing…and missed. As they become less common the confidence to even try to find them suffers and so begins a vicious spiral.

What a welcome relief then to get away from the limitations of ordinary, everyday life for a little while and have a break. New surroundings and a lack of routine are both things that seem to open up the space for play.

I would have said we were tired, that we needed sleep but when Mat lay back across the bed, naked, just inviting me to play with his body I could hardly resist. I took my dagger and ran it lightly across his body; threatening and gentle. I used the flat of it to tap his balls and I pressed the point of it into his skin until it left a mark. with my hands I stroked his face and tweaked his nipples. I wanked his cock and watched him gasp but I held back from giving him too much pleasure.

After all, we did need to sleep. I took rope and tied it around the base of his cock and then pulling it back between his legs I settled down to sleep still holding and tugging my Boy.

Waking, holding the rope, in the early light was a delight. A pleasure too long missed. My Boy and I, for once, awake together.

I couldn’t resist playing with his body and began to wank him again. I took up my dagger and laid it across his throat with one hand as I pulled him to the edge of orgasm with the other. I let it fade and then enjoyed bringing him to the point of no return. My good Boy, steel across his throat as he bucked in helpless pleasure.

For those precious hours he was my Boy and I was his Domme. Perfect, happy and complete; with rope and steel.

 

TMI Tuesday – 19 November 2013

Sex, I wonder if I understand it at all.

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction

1. From erotica to sex blogs everyone seems to be having intense orgasms. Do you feel like you are experiencing the same intense orgasmic waves everyone talks about?
I don’t think I’ve ever had an ‘orgasmic wave’ but I’ve not really read about anyone else having one either, so I don’t feel I’m missing out.

2. At the beginning of our sexual lives, we are often let down because it feels like nothing in comparison to what we see in films and magazines. Sexual pleasure is something you learn more about as you get older. How have you learned to cultivate the pleasure that you feel?
I started my journey of sexual discovery on my own as a small child, so I’m self taught. I’m also naturally curious and open minded, so I’m simply learning as I go.

3. In the last 3 years, has your sexual pleasure:
a. waned
b. stayed the same
c. increased, enhanced, improved
Actually, I’d find it hard to compare directly. mostly it has just changed and developed.

4. If you are feeling much more sexual pleasure than your lover do you feel the need to make up the deficit or just live in the moment and enjoy what has been given to you?
I’m very happy to just lie back and let my Boy pleasure me. It’s what he’s for, after all.

5. How important is it to you for you and your lover to have simultaneous orgasms?
a. not important – never thought about it
b. somewhat important – I think it would be nice to explode at the same time
c. important – that is what I ‘work’ for, cumming at the same time makes everything more intense–my orgasm, my feelings, the entire experience.
Perrin and I have been known to manage simultaneous orgasms and it’s lovely to share the moment. I wouldn’t want to be expected to do that all the time though. plus, it’s lovely to focus on one person’s pleasure completely.

Bonus: Do you think that having an orgasm is the same as sexual pleasure? Why or why not?
They are most definitely not the same. My pleasure in kink is most definitely sexual in origin but it doesn’t need to involve orgasm, or indeed physical contact, or even taking my clothes off. Sex is so much more than that…

Not Ready To Go Home

After an evening of play which had aroused us both Mat and I headed off into the night. For once the party had ended before midnight and we weren’t ready to go home so early.

We saw a cinema and decided on impulse to see if there was a film showing. To our surprise there were several starting after midnight so we bought tickets and went in.
We had the cinema to ourselves so we kicked off our shoes and made ourselves comfortable. As I settled back Mat’s hand slipped between my thighs and I parted them to give him better access.
After a few minutes we were joined in the cinema by two more couples but they spaced themselves out around the cinema leaving us alone in the back row. Under the cover of darkness I slipped my knickers off. Mat’s fingers continued to tease me throughout the film.

When the film ended I stood up and put on my coat. We were alone again and Mat slipped his fingers inside me. Within a  second his hand was soaked as I squirted down his arm. Our eyes met, we needed to do this somewhere else.

We drove away until we found a quiet car park. Set back from the road we had a little privacy.
Mat stripped naked, he was going to get wet. He helped me up onto the car bonnet and I lay back and spread my legs as his fingers went to work inside me. As I flooded him, squirting over him, warming his cock with my juices, he scooped up some of the liquid and splashed it on his body and his face.
He made me squirt until I was starting to get sore, so I climbed down and claimed use of his cock. Clinging to the bonnet for warmth, he filled me and I moaned with pleasure.

Then it was my turn. I donned my strap-on and bent him over the bonnet. Raping him over his own car. He wanked himself until he came and I caught his spunk in my hand, smearing it over his face, feeding it to him. My cock still inside him, I fucked him some more, until he whimpered, like the submissive slut he was.
Then finally we were ready to go home.

The Will Of The Goddess

He was a slave. Kept in the temple pens his duties were light, his life simple. Then he had been dragged aside by the slave mistress, locked in a cage and left for two days and nights with nothing but a bowl of water. He had begged for food but she had said he would be fed “when it pleased the Goddess”.

Then two women in white robes came for him. They pulled him out, stripped his tunic from him and took him to a wash room and watched while he cleansed himself under their instructions. When they were satisfied they fastened his wrists and led him away. Continue reading “The Will Of The Goddess”