Yesterday was an ordinary day. It might have been considered a vanilla day, except that I had something on my mind. You see, Perrin has been giving me challenges. Commands that stretch beyond the bedroom door (figuratively that is; he’s not limited to location when it comes to demanding sexual favours) and require courage on my part to complete.
They’re not necessarily hard as such, but they have been chosen carefully to test me and my limits, so they’re things which are hard for me. The previous one was rolling in the snow. I know being expected to roll naked in the snow could be viewed in the bedroom category by some; but I can’t feel erotic and cold at the same time, I HATE being cold.
The next one might be considered easier, but it was something I had to do by myself and I had a time limit of Sunday night. I spent yesterday agonising over it, and started writing a post which tried to explain my difficulty in obeying. By the time I’d reflected on the apprehension I’d felt looking out at the snow, and how I had made a desperate rush through the door and forced myself to lie straight down in the snow without thinking, I knew the same approach was needed here, and I found myself completing my task.
For me then, I was feeling highly submissive that day. Our originally stated plans for the evening had involved some play, and I was so ready for that, but that evening Perrin was distracted by other matters. They were important too, and I happily sat by while he worked, assuming I would get his attention later. I didn’t get it though, and when he finally suggested that it was bed time in a way that made it quite clear that bed meant ‘sleep’ I was desolate. I went up to bed and curled up miserably.
He came up, and curled up behind me but without his body really touching mine, and then he asked if I was ok.
Light the blue touch-paper and retire…
Was I ok? Well, if he’d made any kind of real contact with me then yes, I might have been. But right then, with him so distant that he COULDN’T TELL if I was ok, I felt the answer was no. So we descended into a very emotionally charged discussion with me trying to explain, without actually saying that I had wanted to be submissive to him, because quite frankly the idea of saying ‘Ok, dominate me now’ is too ridiculous and unrewarding to contemplate.
I hate arguing with Perrin. It’s painful for both of us, and utterly pointless because I love him so much, and even when I’m getting angry with him I’m vividly aware that eventually we will make up, and I will forgive him no matter how unforgivable the hurt feels in that instant.
So fast forward to us lying close together, my head on his chest, making up and discussing the problem constructively. I swallow my pride and ask how I can express my submissiveness to him when I need him to know how I feel.
He tells me I can come and kneel beside him, eyes down, hands behind my back and wait for his touch on my shoulder to acknowledge me.
His answer is comforting, and arousing. I move my hand across his body and realise that he has an erection. I’m reminded that my submission excites him, and I feel suddenly nervous at my vulnerability to him. He kisses me savagely, a dominant’s kiss, his tongue and teeth claiming my mouth. I am aware of his strength, and my own helplessness to resist him.
He commands me to suck his cock, and I sink gratefully down to take it into my mouth. I endeavour to take all of him in, gagging myself with his length, my tongue seeking to please him. I love the feel of him, the taste of him. I focus on the moment, with no other thought than to give him pleasure.
Suddenly he is pulling me away, and ordering me on to my back. I lie there, legs open and knees up and he plunges into me without hesitation. He is pounding into my cunt, each stroke to its full depth, his body slapping against mine with the force of his thrusts. I am utterly overwhelmed by the rhythm of his body, aware that he is claiming me as his own. His passion is unrelenting, and I am distantly aware of the bed protesting the motion. Suddenly his breathing changes, and I hear and feel his orgasm as he explodes within me.
All is resolved.