Sometimes It Is All About Me

Being a Domme is all about the submissive. I think I’ve mentioned this before.

But there are moments when that isn’t true. When my Boy runs me a bath with candles and bubbles. When he then washes me gently and massages my feet. When he climbs into the bath to provide me sexual pleasure.
I am warm and comfortable and lost in delight and not a little light-headed.

He helps me out gently and takes care of me.

Then I lie down on the bed and with his mouth he gives me pleasure, worshipping my cunt. He is gentle and patient. I am quiet, my mind drifting while my body enjoys his ministrations. Selfishly I relax into the pleasure, happy to enjoy it, to receive this gift. My hands stroke his head, his hair is soft and easy to hold on to.
The pleasure builds slowly without pressure until I find myself close to orgasm. Now my mind joins in, with sexual images to help carry me over that edge, to complete my pleasure.

I am gasping, shaking, and yet somehow still relaxed. I lie back down and am caressed and held. It is a perfect moment.
It is my perfect moment.

How To Be The Perfect Dominant

CakeSo you want to know how to be the perfect Dominant and you’ve come looking for advice*. Well I can help you. If you are a submissive you might want to look here instead; but if following that advice gets you into trouble then you’re entirely on your own.

As a Dominant, always remember it’s all about your submissive’s pleasure. An unhappy submissive is an uncooperative submissive and nobody wants that.

As the Dominant you are expected not to need to ask your submissive what they want from you, that would be too easy. Instead you must learn to interpret their little signals. Do they lean up against you or put their head in your lap – they want to be fussed. Are they lying on their front, wriggling their bottom – they want to be spanked (gently of course). You will of course have to learn to distinguish this wriggle from the hip thrusting version which means that they want to be fucked.
Remember, a good dominant will not ask them which they want; you must just know.

As a Dominant you may also control what your submissive wears. This is a complicated area. In occasion your submissive may actively ask for your direction but they also sometimes need to be directed spontaneously. In either case it is important to choose garments that make your submissive feel sexy, no matter what the occasion (see previous comment about unhappy submissives). Start thinking of a good excuse why your submissive has turned up to the local ‘bring and buy’ sale in a straitjacket and frilly panties now.

While attempting to meet your submissive’s needs you may occasionally wish to also satisfy your own, which may not be what your submissive was expecting. Be warned, you may well encounter vigorous resistance. In this case, back off gently and go and do something else. Your submissive will come back to seek attention when they are good and ready.

As the perfect Dominant you must also provide them constantly with evidence that they are loved and wanted.
Bringing them coffee in bed is a good way to ensure they start the day remembering who owns them. Make sure too, to provide a good supply of treats. What sort of cake is their favourite? Find out. With a little effort you can have your submissive eating out of your hand (literally, if you like).

And really that’s all there is to it; with a little attention, mind reading and, of course, the perfect submissive – you too can be the perfect Dominant.

*Really? Here? 

Rope And Steel

Rope and SteelD/s has been struggling to find space in my life recently. Of course there are the little rituals that keep our lives ticking over but some things have been missing…and missed. As they become less common the confidence to even try to find them suffers and so begins a vicious spiral.

What a welcome relief then to get away from the limitations of ordinary, everyday life for a little while and have a break. New surroundings and a lack of routine are both things that seem to open up the space for play.

I would have said we were tired, that we needed sleep but when Mat lay back across the bed, naked, just inviting me to play with his body I could hardly resist. I took my dagger and ran it lightly across his body; threatening and gentle. I used the flat of it to tap his balls and I pressed the point of it into his skin until it left a mark. with my hands I stroked his face and tweaked his nipples. I wanked his cock and watched him gasp but I held back from giving him too much pleasure.

After all, we did need to sleep. I took rope and tied it around the base of his cock and then pulling it back between his legs I settled down to sleep still holding and tugging my Boy.

Waking, holding the rope, in the early light was a delight. A pleasure too long missed. My Boy and I, for once, awake together.

I couldn’t resist playing with his body and began to wank him again. I took up my dagger and laid it across his throat with one hand as I pulled him to the edge of orgasm with the other. I let it fade and then enjoyed bringing him to the point of no return. My good Boy, steel across his throat as he bucked in helpless pleasure.

For those precious hours he was my Boy and I was his Domme. Perfect, happy and complete; with rope and steel.

 

What Is My Submissive For

I spend quite a lot of time thinking about my role as a Domme but for once I wanted to assess what my submissive’s role is to me.

He is there to give me pleasure. Sheer physical and sexual pleasure without me needing to feel guilty or needing to provide any quid pro quo. I can lie back, so to speak, and enjoy freely what he gives.

He is there for me to play with. I can play with his body and mind and bring him to pleasure so intense he loses himself in it. I can learn to control his reactions and practise my skills at doing so.

You’ll note that as a result he is both for giving and receiving pleasure but without the automatic requirement that both parties have an orgasm in the same session or they aren’t ‘doing it properly’ that produces pressure and limits enjoyment.

He is there for me to exercise my frustrations on his body. When the world is too much for me I can take out my pain by giving it to him. That he takes this, purely for me, that he loves me enough to give me this outlet only makes me love him more.

He is there for me to own. I control him in subtle ways, taking what no vanilla girlfriend can. I have power that thrills and yet that I find myself holding back from. I will not abuse this generosity of spirit but I will treasure it as a precious gift.

This is what I want from my submissive, this is what I receive.
This is what he is for.

Warming His Cock

Deep HeatIronically, the Deep Heat had been bought originally to torture my Boy. On that occasion it had been unneeded and so it had made its way unopened into the medicine cabinet. Now it found its way out to be used to bring relief to Mat’s aching back.

While I had him lying still, I trailed my slightly contaminated fingers over his cock and watched his reactions blossom. This was clearly an avenue that needed pursuing.

“I want to be tortured by you” he whispered softly. A request no loving Domme could ignore.

Later on, we made the time to play. I took rope (for the first time in, oh, far too long) and wrapped it around his wrists. Pulling them then behind his head and taking the rope around his arms I made sure he knew that he would be lying back, unable to interfere with my pleasure. Once he had lain back with a pillow tucked under his head to ensure his comfort I fastened the end of the rope to the bed. He wasn’t going anywhere.

I opened the tube of deep heat and smeared the merest dab on the head of his cock. He complained he could hardly feel it. I grinned, I hadn’t even got started yet. I took my time, applying the cream to different areas of his cock, watching his reactions, asking for feedback; warming him up gently. His cock was hard, this was pleasure interspersed with pain.

I was aware of just how turned on I was. Enjoying the irony that Mat’s cock was something I simply couldn’t have for now. Still I had something better than sex at that moment.

I continued to torture his cock. Wrapping ribbon tightly around his balls to heighten his sensations I moved to slapping them gently while my hand continued to stroke his gently burning cock. As always, the noises my Boy makes while being tortured drove me on. I was in no hurry.

Still finally, he told me how ready he was.
“If you want me to cum”, he said,”you’re going to need to hit me harder and use a lot more deep heat”.
How could I refuse. With a fresh application of cream I continued my ministrations. I knew he hadn’t thought this through. With a deep sense of evil delight I knew this was going to hurt. So soon, he was gasping harder, and his head tipped back.
“May I cum?” his simple question.
“Oh, yes”, I breathed as I stroked him and watched his body convulse and his spunk shoot into the air.

“It’s burning, it’s burning” as his pleasure subsided the pain kicked in.
“Oh god, it hurts” he moaned. Still helpless, he whimpered in the aftermath of orgasm. This was the pain I had been saving up for him. This was my rush of pleasure.

Gently now, I untied him and held him, comforting, loving my brave Boy who had taken the torture for me and loved me still. How warmly I loved him in that moment.

Am I A Domme When I’m Ill

I’m not feeling great at the moment. It’s nothing more serious than a cold but between the cough, sinus pain, and general feeling of exhaustion I’ve been struggling to get through the last few days. Yet, while I feel pretty dreadful I still have a beautiful submissive Boy who, I feel, deserves far more attention from me than he is currently getting.

This would probably be getting me down more if I hadn’t read a blog a long time ago (that I can sadly no longer find) of a submissive and his Mistress. I remember that she was long term sick, I think possibly confined to a wheelchair, yet they managed to sustain a D/s relationship.

I recall him writing, explaining how she was unable to do much physically to him although she would occasionally employ a proxy to play with him at her direction. Instead their dynamic had shifted to a largely service oriented one in which his submission was to take care of her.

At the time (and I was still submissive myself in those days) I was struck by the affection in his writing, in his acceptance of the limitations of their situation and the way in which they made the relationship work despite the difficulties.

Now other aspects occur to me too. I am, after all, never physically stronger than my submissive even when I am well. His service is his choice and treasured for all that. I am still his Domme however, shaping our world, giving us a place where we can love in our own way.

Something to hold on to until I feel well enough to abuse him more thoroughly.

What It Means When My Boy Asks For Things

I love it when my boy comes to me submissively and kneels at my feet or snuggles his head against me.
I love it when 
my boy looks up at me, and says ‘may I ask you something’?
I love it when, permission granted, he then shares his little fantasy with me.
Sometimes he wants impossibly difficult things (I’m still looking for someone to whore my boy to), and sometimes he wants simple things, maybe just for me to hurt him in a particular way.

At one level I’m very grateful for these questions. I’m happy that he feels secure enough to share his fantasies, pleased that he’s giving me feedback about what scenes really work for him. On the other hand, I can’t help wondering if these requests are a subtle sign that I’m not being Domme-ly enough, not requiring enough from him.

A Domme’s necessary sanity check asks, am I failing to meet his needs? Do I need to give him more tasks, hurt him more often or even find more times for us to go out and play?

Beyond those practical details lies a more fundamental thought. Is he struggling to feel submissive to me? Does he truly see me as his Domme or merely as someone playing a role to please him?

Still I can imagine my boy finding it all too easy to tell me to my face if he wasn’t happy in my dominance. So I’m content to believe that the requests are what they seem. A boy seeking attention and pampering (of a very special sort) from his Domme. And that is something I am very happy to provide him.