There’s a tendency to think of polyamory as something a few unusual people do. I’ve heard monogamous folk claim that they just couldn’t do it, as though being polyamorous was somehow completely different from the life they lead, but it occurs to me that actually that’s not really true at all.
As I write this I am at home alone. My husband is away for the weekend. Not for a romantic getaway with his girlfriend (although he does that too sometimes) but to pursue one of his hobbies. Not one that I want to pursue with him in this case, so off he’s gone without me.
You might think that I would be taking advantage of the space to have a night of kinky abandon with my Boy but in fact he’s out tonight also. No, still not a sexy outing, he’s merely out socialising with friends.
I’m perfectly happy with this situation (in fact it gives me a chance to do a bit of blogging) but it has led me to thinking about why I feel so happy.
This evening isn’t a surprise to me. Plans have been made and discussed. I know that both of them checked that I was happy with their being away this evening and I appreciate that care for my feelings. Neither of them have left me feeling that they don’t wish for my company, or that they are glad to get away from me. On the contrary I am confident that they both love me and will come home to me full of affection.
Now, neither of them are out with other partners, so you might claim that isn’t really polyamorous at all – and that’s my point. This is perfectly normal, everyday life; the people I love are simply somewhere else having fun. Yet I recognise my happiness when I kiss them goodbye and when I think of them while they are away as the same feelings that allowed me to be lucky enough to love both of them in the first place.
The result is that I’m happily alone on a Friday night loving that the people I love are out having a good time. Really, that’s all that polyamory is. It’s that simple.