I’m not a very good Domme. I’m too nervous, too uncertain, too easily discouraged. I lose confidence when I am unable to win my Boy over to my mind and unable to discern his. I’m a novice in so many things and yet I fear practising risks failing and losing what little confidence my Boy has in me.
Mostly I sail between these problems, being the best Domme I know how to be. Taking joy from each successful moment, enjoying the challenge of building the relationship, and my Boy’s pleasure, in all the ways he needs. Loving the freedom and the expression that being his Domme gives me. Flying high on a wave of passion and emotion that almost nothing else can equal.
Sometimes though I lose my way. When that happens, when I lose my nerve, when I am paralysed by uncertainty, unable to truly be a Domme, I wonder does my Boy know or notice? Does he wonder why I do not act? Is he frustrated or relieved?
I dare not ask him but I can’t help but wonder.
Yet I’m not looking for sympathy here or reassurance. My challenges are my own. I may never be a super confident Domme but as long as I have my Boy I can live with my uncertainties.