Mat often says “Bad Domme” to me, as a term of endearment. It means I’ve been the right sort of evil to him. I take it as a compliment and throw it back playfully to him on occasion. Still, I’m not always entirely comfortable being described that way.
On the other hand, I’ve been feeling for a long while now that my current on-line identity no longer fits. Names that were chosen when I was purely submissive, chafe and seem uncomfortable now. I need to describe myself better, here and elsewhere.
The trouble is I struggle to define myself. I am loathe to describe myself as “Mistress” or “Domme” I don’t want to feel limited by that. I want to be a good Domme to my boy, but that is not all I am; and I am Mistress to him only, not to the world in general.
I also don’t want to be “Bad”. So many words used to describe kink are negative ones. I don’t want to be “Naughty”, “Dirty” or “Wicked”. I want to be good, loving, caring, kinky, fun, playful, adventurous, sexy, sadistic (in a good way) and loved.
Now if only I can find a name to say all that.
*Obviously Mat can continue to call me Bad Domme all he wants. That’s very different.