My boy has a safe word. Its purpose is to give him a guaranteed way of calling a halt, or just slowing down, anything he has a problem with.
Most of the time he doesn’t need to use it but I feel better for knowing he has the option. It provides a more graceful response than merely dropping out of role and somehow keeps me closer to him through something which otherwise would be a severe disruption to our play.
I have realised though, that as a Domme I have no such option. There is no subtle way for me to express discomfort with a situation. You might think that a Domme has no need of a safe word, after all they are the one in control aren’t they?
Yet I have found situations in which I have felt uncomfortable. I have been fortunate so far in that they have been ones in which I can simply walk away and that Mat has been sympathetic to my feelings. Still, I can imagine scenarios in which I need to call a halt, in which I need comforting and reassuring. Currently I have nothing I can say to signal this.
I guess that doesn’t sound very Domme-ly but I figure even Dommes have a right to feel safe, to have limits and sometimes even get cuddles and cake.
That’s OK right? Or is it just me?