I was writing a fantasy, one I intended for eventual publication here and I was getting increasingly turned on by the scenario I was describing.
Then as I was contemplating my writing I realised something about the way I write fantasies.
When I’m writing, my characters are real to me. It feels as though they have a separate existence which I have a window on. My writing forces them to live through those experiences and I not only control what happens to them I also control how they feel about it.
As I go over a scene, refining my mental image of it, they can be forced to live though it several different ways until I have found the most satisfactory outcome (interestingly the beginning of the ‘Story of O‘ effectively uses this as an opening gambit). Often the final outcome depends on how the characters behave in my mind. Their reactions influence my writing (I said they were real to me).
In many ways this is the ultimate Domme trip. I can torture them or delight them again and again. I can abuse them, humiliate them and force them to willingly do anything I wish.
Best of all I can get just the reaction I want. I can make them love it or hate it or better still desire it with a mingling of shame and embarrassment that puts them firmly in their place.
My characters are my bitches and I get off on playing with them.
No wonder I can’t stop writing.