Celebrating (Polyamorous) Marriage

This is one of those times when I came across a post and thought “yes, that!”. This one is about what marriage means when you are polyamorous.

Marriage has been on my mind at the moment as Perrin and I recently celebrated another wedding anniversary.

When he and I got married we were expecting to be monogamous, so marriage was an uncomplicated commitment. However one of the advantages of having a civil wedding was that we had to choose our own vows. This meant we discussed whether we wanted sexual fidelity to be one of them. In the end we didn’t promise it, because the vows we chose expressed our desire to love and support each other in far less specific terms.

Having discussed and renegotiated, as all married couples do on many subjects (even if not always sexual ones), we now find ourselves polyamorous. However my love for Perrin and my commitment to our relationship remain. He is someone I want to be a part of my life until I am old and grey (a day sadly coming rapidly ever closer).

However this doesn’t necessarily preclude me being committed to someone else as well. While legal marriage is clearly not an option, bigamy being ever so slightly illegal in this country, marriage is about more than a legal status. It is about standing up to declare your feelings, promising commitment, about believing in forever. Promises made together do not need legal sanctity to be meaningful. I still remember the moment I realised I felt committed to Perrin and it was a moment well in advance of our wedding day.

Our recent wedding anniversary was very special in many ways. Over a long weekend Perrin and I shared many wonderful moments together, just the two of us, but our anniversary dinner was a different affair. Perrin, Mat and I shared a meal together; we toasted the anniversary, together, as a poly family of which our marriage is a part.
This is my life; married, polyamorous and very, very, happy.

Author: Caitlin

Geeky, kinky and poly. Discovering my Domme side. Sometimes NSFW and 18+.

4 thoughts on “Celebrating (Polyamorous) Marriage”

  1. Thanks for sharing this. It is great to see poly people showing everyone that poly people are just like everyone else, and polyamory is often the best possibility for the people involved.

    1. I sometimes forget that my life might seem odd to some people. It is after all largely made up of all the usual everyday things, I just share them with more people. Mostly I don’t draw attention to it and let people draw their own conclusions. We are indeed just like everyone else, in the relationships that seem right for us.

      Caitlin xx

  2. I feel the same way about being married and poly. I want my husband in my life always, which is why I married him, but I also want other people in my life. They may come and go, but my husband will be there for the long run. At least, I hope so.

    1. I like the sense of commitment (and therefore security) that being married gives. Marriages still require effort and communication though and I think you two have a strong relationship because you work hard at that.

      Caitlin xx

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