I woke up missing my boy. I wanted him with me, wanted to climb into his arms, wanted to lose myself in that embrace.
I needed him right then. Wanted to be able to talk to him, to hear his voice, feel his touch. I needed to hear him tell me he loved me, needed to know that the feelings that run so deep in my heart ran equally deep in his.
I knew though that this was impossible and my goodness how that hurt.
In hunting round the internet, seeking to distract myself from the feelings burning inside I found this:
One true thing is that I’m blessed to feel deeply over this; once I decide to take the leap into deep feelings, I can’t then decide I just want the happy feelings to be deep.
That’s the bargain offered by the Deep Feelings Fairy, and we either agree to the whole thing, or nothing.
Apart from the simple fact that his story puts my feelings into real perspective I am reminded that I knowingly agreed to this bargain. I love Mat deeply and the inevitable aching I feel at his absence is just another side of that love.
I take a deep breath and I smile.
Changing Views 