Finding The Time

Recently I whipped Mat. It was enjoyable, satisfying but brief. So often I find, time is the biggest constraint of all.

Mat is my bitch, all the time, but that doesn’t mean I can just wade in and hit him without warning (naturally I’m excluding the odd swipe for being cheeky here). He and I both need to be feeling our places, feel the relationship in place, before we can strengthen it with play.

Sometimes I wonder that we ever find the time. To start with the two of us have to be together, physically. Then we both have to be feeling reasonably well and not too tired (how many evenings is that in itself too much). Then we need to know that we have time alone. Interruptions, distractions all make focus difficult, even inanimate ones such as having household chores to complete. Then, and we are nearly there, we need time to shed the cares of the day. To get ‘real world’ business sorted so that we can focus on our D/s relationship in the moment. Then we need time to touch, to talk, to take ourselves together into that place.

If we reach that point then he is mine and mine alone and I can indulge my desires and fulfill both our needs to be our kinky selves.
I can brandish whip or paddle, and watch him lying still, taking the pain I give him. I can listen to his delightful whimpers and thrill to their music. I can be his Domme. But then too soon, the real world intrudes again and the moment is over.

Much of this is inevitable but I cannot help wondering if there is some way of making the process of reaching that moment quicker, to maximise our time there. What would get Mat and I there quicker and more easily? What would give us more time to play?

Author: Caitlin

Geeky, kinky and poly. Discovering my Domme side. Sometimes NSFW and 18+.

2 thoughts on “Finding The Time”

  1. Tina and I go through something similar. Except she has an inbred desire to mother and nuture, and I have this desire to be coddled and nursed. But there are certain moments when we feel safe enough with each other that we take it to a deeper level, that of ownership, expressed in a variety of ways.

    Feeling safe enough is very difficult, particularly because we tend hurt each other out of our respective childhood traumas. Lately all we’ve been able to do is the mother/son sex dynamic, and a few moments of father/daughter. Tina has asked about buttfucking me again, but its been a very sensitive time the past few months, I just can’t feel safe enough right now.

    I admire you and Mat seemingly able to fall into the dynamic so easily, without all psychological crap getting in the way.

  2. Everybody has their pyschological blocks and issues. All relationships have to work with those constraints. Mat and I have moments when the dynamic is hidden by those stresses but the dynamic is both part of our happiest and relaxed times and something which helps pull us back into that state.
    It includes Mat being my little boy as much as being my bitch or my fucktoy. If what you need is that caring aspect then enjoy that. When you need to be fucked you’ll find a way into that too.

    Caitlin xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s