When We Grow Older

My boyfriend and I were sitting in the sunshine. We were drinking coffee and watching an old couple cross the road. She had a bandaged leg and was walking with two sticks but the two of them were a couple who, like us, had just been sitting in the café drinking coffee.

My boyfriend turned to me. “Do you think we’ll still be perverts when we’re ninety?” he asked.
I replied that I did, after all why should our relationship change because we’re older.
“You realise no one else will find it sexy?” he pointed out. I did and I do. That doesn’t mean we should stop feeling or being sexy though.
There may of course be fewer pictures on the blog and perhaps the tales of our adventures will be blander. After all, getting naked may take us longer, we may no longer be agile enough to do things we now take for granted but I cannot imagine not holding my Boy’s head in my lap and reminding him that he is mine.
Actually the one thing that frightens me about that thought of us being ninety and being kinky is that biology itself may steal it from me.

I’ve been kinky since childhood and my sex drive and my kink drive are effectively the same thing. They have only been separated once when I was made to feel so ashamed of my submission that I couldn’t face it anymore. That shame still occasionally haunts me, a shame which my Domme side is thankfully free of.

My sex drive is something therefore which is part of me, an important part of who I am. Important enough that this blog is a part of my self-expression. That drive was lost though when I was on the pill. The scary thing was how little I realised what was wrong. The sheer delight, the buzzing, vertiginous feeling of pleasure was gone and I couldn’t remember how it felt. I couldn’t feel desire, I was not myself. By choice I will never let go of that part of myself again but nature may have other ideas.

To get from here to ninety the menopause hangs like an ominous bridge between us. Another hormonal shift and this one I cannot avoid. It is, I hope, still a very long way away but I cannot know what it will bring. Perhaps nothing, Puberty didn’t change me so why should its inverse?

In the meantime however I intend to go on being a perverted, dirty little girl and loving every second of it for as long as I can. Hopefully until I’m ninety.

Author: Caitlin

Geeky, kinky and poly. Discovering my Domme side. Sometimes NSFW and 18+.

8 thoughts on “When We Grow Older”

  1. I am closer to that time than you are, and I will say, that since submission is more about the mind and emotions it has not been affected much. In fact, I have felt “pushed” from inside to be more true to myself. Part of that push is society, but part of it is the realization that life is not forever, why live it filled with so many falsehoods?
    I don’t think you have any real issues to worry about 🙂
    beth

    1. I hope very much you are right. There is certainly a ‘fear of the unknown’ that I find hard to shake but I’m hopeful that it will be much better than I imagine.
      Thank you for your reassurance.

      Caitlin x

  2. I’ve been very sex-driven since I was 11, and still find myself that way in my 40s. I hate to think what my body will look like when I’m 90, but I imagine technology will usher in some kind medical breakthrough to make sex more interesting.

    1. I’m not sure I can imagine what medical science will be able to do, but I’m sure that in my head I’ll still be the same person I am now just as long as I keep my eyes shut!

      Caitlin xx

  3. I am an old man (77) with submissive feelings and desires. My Wife isn’t dominant, but is accepting my ‘service’ to Her.
    I can assure you that my feelings are the same as years ago, even while I now am impotent after two prostate operations. I am happy that my Wife occasionally allows me to serve Her orally. We often are talking about what other people would think when they saw us.
    As to menopause, my Wife got more pleasure from sex after menopause. She seemed more free and liberated. So don’t worry about that and accept life as it comes.

    appy

    1. I’d like to hope you don’t care what you look like to anyone else but continue to do whatever feels good for you. It’s wonderful to hear about people having fun no matter what their age.

      Caitlin xx

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