Let’s be clear, I don’t read Cosmopolitan any more. I realised a long time ago that anyone who seriously used Cosmo as a guide to life or, worse still, to their sex life was likely to end up extremely unhappy.
However Deviantly Romantic’s post on their 31 day challenge caught my imagination. So here are my views on the challenges they picked out plus a couple of others.
Challenge 1: Slip a doughnut around his penis, and slowly eat it off.
Yes, sure I could do this. On the other hand Mat did (accidentally) post on Twitter that he wanted to get messy with cake with Perrin, so I think on this one I’ll just sit back and watch…
Challenge 11: Do a Dirty 360. Get into girl-on-top, and spin all the way around without pulling away.
Done that. Purely because I was curious if it was possible (it was) but it wasn’t really erotic for either partner. I used to do ’round the world’ on horseback too which is equally sexy (or indeed not).
Challenge 15: Take off all his clothes…using only your mouth. (You can undo his fly with your fingers.
I’m pretty sure we’re assuming here that he doesn’t have buttons on his shirt or, come to think of it, smelly feet. In general this sounds like a good way to end up in a mostly dressed fit of giggles but not a great way to end up wanting sex.
Challenge 17: When he’s not expecting it, grab him, and kiss him passionately for a full minute. A lot of couples only kiss hello and goodbye or when they’re lying down, so this will surprise him and turn him on.
Kissing is good, long passionate kisses are good, but as a challenge? Hang on, I need to look at my watch, has it been a minute yet…?
Challenge 26: Pose naked, and sketch each other.
Well nobody around here is shy about skin so getting people to pose wouldn’t be a problem. I did a life drawing class as part of a hen night and really enjoyed it. Nobody else has ever drawn me naked though and having seen Mat’s attempt to draw me clothed the results might be humorous rather than artistic. I have sketched myself naked though which I’m secretly quite proud of.
In summary though, I’ve done some variant of most of them. Many are just downright silly, others would become silly as soon as they became a challenge rather than a spontaneous sex act.
Conclusion: Cosmopolitan’s sex advice is still as ridiculous as ever. I think I’ll stick to what comes naturally.