I need to express my dominant side, and right now my timing is way off.
It’s certainly very difficult at the moment to plan any kind of time in advance specifically for play. If I do manage to arrange something, the sense of expectation seems to inhibit me. It feels stilted, awkward and uncomfortable. I like my kink to be spontaneous.
There are the moments we are together, with nothing specific planned, no expectations. Even then there are so many difficulties. Perhaps my mood is off, or his. Sometimes my concern to look after him is too strong. Sometimes I just don’t see the opportunities that are staring me in the face.
Last night I should have sent him out to stand naked in the rain, and whipped him out there, with the water streaming down his skin. I just didn’t see it until too late.
This morning I want to fuck him. To hold him down and use him. To put on my strap on and rape his ass, to feel his flesh under my hands and around my cock. But he’s tired and is sleeping, and I want him to have that rest. Caring overriding lust yet again.
My frustration builds, my need grows. When the timing is finally right, it’s going to be intense.