Where have my fantasies of submission gone? Why can I not find words to capture my own desires and imaginings?
Certainly real life has been getting in the way. Getting in the way of any actual expression of submission, getting in the way of my finding things to say here, and getting in the way of writing any erotica. Even the scribbled notes, with outlines of scenarios which I know were hot when I first conceived them lie cold and untouched now.
I’ve tried to encourage my own creativity, by reading other’s writings. Blogs I know I love, authors who usually inspire and arouse me. Today though I feel no emotional response to such things. Submission has fled so far away that it leaves me slightly unsettled to read such stories, recognising, remembering the feelings involved, but unable to enjoy them.
I know myself well enough now to know it will be back. The desire for submission lurks below the surface. I feel its pull from a distance, I merely cannot touch it.
I do miss it though.