What does it mean to own someone? What does it take to claim them? How do you feel afterwards?
In any relationship there are many firsts. The first time you hold hands, the first time you kiss, the first time you get fingered outside a busy restaurant (everyone does do that, right)?
Some firsts however, are more significant than others.
The first time I fucked Mat with my fingers, I felt I had made a claim on his body, but I knew there would be more. That first penetration of his flesh, simply raised awareness of what could be.
I had a virgin strap on. Unused on anyone, it was obvious to us both that I would eventually use it on his ass. That with it, his little boy’s cunt would be mine to fuck. But even that was not enough. No, I needed to rape him with it. Taking control, for my own pleasure. He had to submit, even through pain, to my use of him. Nothing less would do. For either of us.
The moment finally came, unexpected, but feeling right. The strap on became an extension of myself in a very real way. I felt connected to him through it, more intensely than with any toy held in my hand. And I let myself go.
Mat took it well, as I had known he would. Still there was some pain, his hands clenched, and cries suppressed. I watched, I knew, but I didn’t let that stop or frighten me. Most of all though, I loved.
Afterwards we held each other closely. Clinging together like shipwrecked sailors, while we considered what had happened, and felt the intensity of it.
This was a moment that mattered. A kind of virginity lost, and a new adventure begun.
It was the first time I had ever fucked his cunt.
It won’t be the last.