I want to talk to you about masturbation.
Everybody does it. It’s supposed to be good for you; liberating, puts you in touch with your own body, gives pleasure without dependence on other human beings.
Is it just me then who doesn’t actually like it?
Don’t get me wrong. I can masturbate. I have been doing so since I was a small child. My early sex life (and not so early) was entirely solo, and was both enthusiastic and pleasurable.
These days though I tend to feel differently. I don’t orgasm easily, and get so much pleasure from sex in other ways that orgasm is rarely the goal for me at all. Sometimes however I need it. I need to cum. Usually there is a lover’s cock, or hand or tongue to help me, to give me what I need. If nothing else, they are an observer to watch, or to whisper to me, as I touch myself. Sometimes however, when I feel that way, there is no one to share it with me. And that’s where the problems start.
I could give myself an orgasm, I know; but it would be slow, difficult, and unsatisfying. A hollow feeling, relief without joy.
On the other hand my frustration consumes me, making me irritable and distracted.
Perhaps it would be better to attempt it then, to entertain myself. How hard though, when my fantasies contain the lovers who are of necessity absent, and each thought of them brings an ache of need, a desire for more than imagination alone.
So no, I won’t attempt to satisfy this craving by myself. It appears I’ll distract myself by writing about it.