Entertaining Myself

I want to talk to you about masturbation.

Everybody does it. It’s supposed to be good for you; liberating, puts you in touch with your own body, gives pleasure without dependence on other human beings.

Is it just me then who doesn’t actually like it?

Don’t get me wrong. I can masturbate. I have been doing so since I was a small child. My early sex life (and not so early) was entirely solo, and was both enthusiastic and pleasurable.

These days though I tend to feel differently. I don’t orgasm easily, and get so much pleasure from sex in other ways that orgasm is rarely the goal for me at all. Sometimes however I need it. I need to cum. Usually there is a lover’s cock, or hand or tongue to help me, to give me what I need. If nothing else, they are an observer to watch, or to whisper to me, as I touch myself. Sometimes however, when I feel that way, there is no one to share it with me. And that’s where the problems start.

I could give myself an orgasm, I know; but it would be slow, difficult, and unsatisfying. A hollow feeling, relief without joy.

On the other hand my frustration consumes me, making me irritable and distracted.

Perhaps it would be better to attempt it then, to entertain myself. How hard though, when my fantasies contain the lovers who are of necessity absent, and each thought of them brings an ache of need, a desire for more than imagination alone.

So no, I won’t attempt to satisfy this craving by myself. It appears I’ll distract myself by writing about it.

Author: Caitlin

Geeky, kinky and poly. Discovering my Domme side. Sometimes NSFW and 18+.

2 thoughts on “Entertaining Myself”

  1. Interesting post and to answer your opening question: No, it isn’t just you who doesn’t actually like it. I hardly ever masturbate, certainly not on my own. It’s completely unfulfilling and only ever works for me when there’s an audience: a lover watching and involved (usually hurting me) or a camera inviting me to be the slut in front of it or a group of onlooker urging me to perform like a whore.

    The flip side of the coin is that it’s also more or less the only way i can orgasm, no-one has ever managed to successfully make me orgasm regularly by any other means (although the outdoors seems to help)!

  2. I could have written this, although I have never orgasmed. Even a vibrator doesn’t make me cum, though at least it’s a lot more pleasurable. I’ve all but given up and concentrating on the pain/sensation side of things.

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