Separation

It’s something I should be used to, being away from my boy; but sometimes, just sometimes, it seems to bite more than others.

I’d like to be holding his hand, introducing him to people. Letting them see how much he means to me. Even when that is not possible, I’d like to include him in my conversation.

That is currently impossible, in so many circumstances.

The discussion seems to become distant. I become quiet. To each sentence I want to respond “Mat says…”, or “My boyfriend and I…”, or some other reference to someone who may be far away, but is so often in my thoughts. Instead those unsayable sentences echo around my head, and I nurse those thoughts and feelings inside myself.

It certainly makes me appreciate those people with whom I can share. The people who can accept my polyamorous side. Who can understand that Mat and Perrin are both dear to me, and share my life in their own ways. The people who won’t judge me harshly for loving more than once, and sharing honestly.

One day, I may find a way to share that more widely. For now though, it remains largely a secret. Just between you and I.

Author: Caitlin

Geeky, kinky and poly. Discovering my Domme side. Sometimes NSFW and 18+.

2 thoughts on “Separation”

  1. It is a hard one that! I guess I am lucky, as my lover is a friend of the family, as well as my lover. This doesn’t help though when we might have decided to meet & I have to explain to people why I am not available.

    I wish, like you, more people could understand polyamory

  2. I’m sure that Mat understands and as long are there are SOME people who can know about the two of you, then at least he doesn’t have to remain a complete secret.

    sev xx

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