Life Is Pain

“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

Certainly relationships are pain. There is a simple inevitability to this. Any relationship is going cause pain, the deeper the love the more pain. And in the end, death or break up is inevitable. Someone is going to suffer.
In general, this is something I try not to think about. I try to live in the moment, to enjoy the now. Sometimes though something will remind me, that the future is coming and I cannot stop it.

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.”

Anticipation is a powerful thing. The anticipation of pleasure, can indeed be more powerful than the pleasure itself. Good sex feeds on this. Building expectation, delaying orgasm, revelling in the moments before, more intensely addictive than the moments after.
Anticipation of pleasure is delightful. Anticipation of pain is terrifying.

“Cowards die many times before their deaths”

I hate that saying, because it is true. Seeing the end coming, suffering the anticipation of it. Knowing it is inevitable, only the timing is uncertain.
I’m the kind of person who saves the best till last. I will eat the cake before the icing. But here is something I cannot choose to do. I cannot take the pain first, and leave the pleasure for the end.
Instead I must enjoy the pleasure in the moment. Trying not to let the fear of pain to come overpower me.

Author: Caitlin

Geeky, kinky and poly. Discovering my Domme side. Sometimes NSFW and 18+.

5 thoughts on “Life Is Pain”

  1. Well written.
    A fear I live with also.
    One I have avoided for much of my life.
    Do you think it’s harder to reach the point of “taking chances” with pain if you’ve avoided it longer?
    I wonder if it is a common trait among submissives.
    Do we hold back a larger piece of ourselves out of fear, and the act of submitting pulls it from us?

    1. Rather than just submissives, I wonder if D/s (whether you are Dom or sub) helps some people to work around that fear. Building trust in a relationship encourages an intimacy which otherwise may be frightening. Of course, that intimacy itself increases the vulnerability. There’s no way round it.

  2. beautiful and somewhat sad, it is a risk we all take, the pain. There are great fruits to bear&eat within a relationship, but everything bears a price, a blood toll. And the price we pay for a good relationship is the end of it, that vulnerability, that hurt, that anticipation…it is like Dolly Parton once said ‘If you want the Rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!’

    xxx lillyonthebed xxx

  3. I think about these things all the time myself. Even though I have no one in my life right now as a second relationship, I think about when I may meet that person. Inevitably, it will end, they can’t stay with me forever, especially if they themselves want to be married one day… I just have to learn to enjoy the moment and not worry about the end. The good news is… the pain and pleasure is different for us all…for I eat the icing first, because the cake is the better part for me *wink*

  4. I’m always aware that because of the very nature of life, all of my previous relationships have failed for one reason or another and that equally, i was of course the common factor and therefore the most likely cause.

    Which inevitably leads me to worry every time a new relationship starts. How will i mess this one up? How long before this new person sees through me and finds the real me, which obviously can’t be very nice?

    I strive very hard to make my partners laugh, probably because i think that if i keep them entertained and laughing, they won’t work out that there’s something ‘orrible underneath.

    Right, well that’s me thoroughly depressed for the day, I’m off to slit my wrists with a bread stick. xx

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