The Other Side

A week ago, if you had asked me if I had a domme side, I would have said no.

My fantasies have always been submissive ones. I have occasionally considered the dominant’s point of view, but would have said I was doing it for the intellectual challenge of considering that point of view, rather from a desire to fill that role.

In the last week it occurred to me to ask myself whether I have a dominant side. I imagined myself, in some theoretical club, with a theoretical submissive at my feet, and quite honestly felt slightly sick at the prospect. To be fair though, that’s a strange image to choose. I have almost no experience of public play at all, and have never been to a kinky club, even as a submissive, so trying to put myself in an unknown place in an unfamiliar role is bound to be difficult. Perhaps the problem, is that I don’t know what having a dominant side would mean.

Fast forward then, to a perfectly lovely social evening, with some lovely kinky people. I had persuaded a gentlemen of my acquaintance to attend, and had lured him there with the (sincere) promise that I would look after him, and not abandon him in a room full of strange people!

Starting out then, I felt a definite sense of responsibility. A need to make sure that his evening was rewarding and pleasurable. As we talked and flirted together I saw his subtle reactions to my more jokingly assertive comments, and felt a certain thrill at his enjoyment. I began to see the appeal of control, the creation of something special, the joy of being the artist rather than the clay.

I also think that I realised a difference in me between domme and sadist. I don’t think I would much enjoy hurting someone; but control, shaping someone’s pleasure, there’s a real kick there. Of course, sometimes pleasure is pain…it’s not a binary choice.

I am still inherently submissive, and my relationship with Perrin exists within that dynamic. Yet each relationship you have creates its own dynamic, unique to the two people involved. I certainly have a domme side, if only a tiny one. I think it might be rather fun for that to get out and play a bit more.

Author: Caitlin

Geeky, kinky and poly. Discovering my Domme side. Sometimes NSFW and 18+.

3 thoughts on “The Other Side”

  1. To me being a dominant is being the conductor of the orchestra. I will decide what music, how, at what tempo, whether there will be any surprising passages, unusual instruments, side themes and how long the piece will last. For me, this has NOTHING to do with pain

    …. but sometimes I want to be the instrument played. I want someone to take me to unexpected places, perhaps to learn new tunes that I can play back on them at a later date. To me, submission is all about completely giving up control and listening to the music being played on me

    … “the joy of being the artist rather than the clay” – absolutely spot on

    Dr J

  2. I think you just form certain chemistry with people. I have met women who I know I am submissive with and others that I know I am the dominant one. It’s all about natural chemistry with people. 🙂 Sounds like you might be on the road to something new and exciting.

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