So I’ve been thinking about what attracts me to people. It’s not primarily physical appearance, although a fairly regular set of features is admittedly an advantage. Instead I find myself attracted to people primarily by their behaviour and personality.
Certainly, I have a distinct weakness for ‘gentlemen’. It goes against my upbringing, but open the car door for me, or take my coat, and I will certainly warm to someone.
That behaviour of course, can easily be learned. I’ll point out here that I sincerely hope that someone is teaching the young men of today these skills, because they would be sorely missed if they died out.
Even more attractive than those traits though, are some classic gentlemanly virtues.
Honesty is certainly important to me. The ability to believe what someone says, to trust them to keep their promises. With that also I think, comes integrity. I realise how much I admire people who are true to themselves, even in the face of difficulties.
Patience is another characteristic I appreciate, twinned I think with tenacity. This is something I struggle with myself, finding it far too easy to give up on things.
Compassion and friendship are also something I value enormously. Someone who stands by their friends, who is there for them when they need help, is someone I want to be friends with.
Although I say gentlemanly virtues, in the interests of equality I should add that those virtues can certainly be held by women as well, and are equally as admirable when found there.
Of course, it can be delightful too, when the ‘gentleman’ turns out to have a wicked side, but that’s another subject entirely.