21 May 2015
6 March 2015
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I’ve been puzzling over gender recently. I think I have some understanding of transgender because it implies a sense of crossing from one side to the other but what then is genderqueer?
This post explains one person’s thoughts and they’re beautifully expressed but have left me feeling confused. Is genderqueer just “other but not other enough”?
I’ve never liked dividing the world up by gender but that’s just because it results in a world where I don’t fit.
I mean I’m female, genetically and physically (you’ve seen the pictures) and I’m happy with my womanly curves; but I don’t fit the socially ideal image of woman.
Sure I like sex with men, but aside from enjoying a nice cock I also love strapping on my own and fucking my Boy. Where does that leave me?
I’m not really interested in makeup or girly things. Growing up I was often ‘one of the boys’ because the things I enjoyed doing were male dominated but I felt accepted as such.
Adults seem less flexible than teenagers though.
I want to be treated as a person, respected and engaged. Not categorised or dismissed because I happen to have breasts. I resent being treated differently because of my genitalia. I don’t want anyone to assume they know my interests or preferences, not least because you’ll probably guess wrong.
Yet despite identifying with many of the points Aerie made I don’t, at the moment, feel able to claim the label ‘genderqueer’ for myself. That to me implies admitting that who I am is not a normal woman, whereas I feel content that biology makes me female but that society should stop trying to limit me because of it.
And that should surely be true for all people, no matter what gender they claim, or even if they would prefer not to claim one at all.
26 February 2015
22 January 2015
So you want to know how to be the perfect Dominant and you’ve come looking for advice*. Well I can help you. If you are a submissive you might want to look here instead; but if following that advice gets you into trouble then you’re entirely on your own.
As a Dominant, always remember it’s all about your submissive’s pleasure. An unhappy submissive is an uncooperative submissive and nobody wants that.
As the Dominant you are expected not to need to ask your submissive what they want from you, that would be too easy. Instead you must learn to interpret their little signals. Do they lean up against you or put their head in your lap – they want to be fussed. Are they lying on their front, wriggling their bottom – they want to be spanked (gently of course). You will of course have to learn to distinguish this wriggle from the hip thrusting version which means that they want to be fucked.
Remember, a good dominant will not ask them which they want; you must just know.
As a Dominant you may also control what your submissive wears. This is a complicated area. In occasion your submissive may actively ask for your direction but they also sometimes need to be directed spontaneously. In either case it is important to choose garments that make your submissive feel sexy, no matter what the occasion (see previous comment about unhappy submissives). Start thinking of a good excuse why your submissive has turned up to the local ‘bring and buy’ sale in a straitjacket and frilly panties now.
While attempting to meet your submissive’s needs you may occasionally wish to also satisfy your own, which may not be what your submissive was expecting. Be warned, you may well encounter vigorous resistance. In this case, back off gently and go and do something else. Your submissive will come back to seek attention when they are good and ready.
As the perfect Dominant you must also provide them constantly with evidence that they are loved and wanted.
Bringing them coffee in bed is a good way to ensure they start the day remembering who owns them. Make sure too, to provide a good supply of treats. What sort of cake is their favourite? Find out. With a little effort you can have your submissive eating out of your hand (literally, if you like).
And really that’s all there is to it; with a little attention, mind reading and, of course, the perfect submissive – you too can be the perfect Dominant.
8 January 2015
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
With a Domme (and a sub) who loves numbers, Christmas and various versions of that song how else could we celebrate Christmas but with a little game.
And so, on Christmas Day there was one stroke from the black cane for my submissive.
The next day my Boy was again ordered to lie down on the bed and present his bottom for two strokes from the butter hand (ridged side down) and, of course, one from the thin black cane.
I’ll spare you the elaborate version of this tale to reveal that on the twelfth day there was :
1 January 2015
Five years ago I started this blog. Five years, of ups and downs and surprises, five years of love, laughter and kink. Five years of writing, photographing, playing and discovering.
Maybe sometimes this year I’ve got a little busy and not written here as much as I would have liked. I know I haven’t found time to read as many other blogs as I would have liked. If you want me to come and read yours then add a comment here and I promise I’ll come and look at it.
Play has been patchy too but what we have had has been fun. There have been a few great opportunities for getting naked outside too.
This coming year, well it may well be the year my Boy gets to suck more cock, maybe even get fucked too (offers always welcome from polite but sexy gentlemen).
I have no idea what it will bring me – but then that was always the point. The view is still changing.
11 December 2014