When you feel unable to speak and yet your heart is full.

Sonnet VIII  – The Secret

I hold a secret close within my heart,
With force that may not ever be revealed,
The words of love that from my lips would start,
Are held inside, for must my lips be sealed.
Were I to speak the love I feel within,
You would pour scorn on such a raging flood
Of heartfelt passion that my eyes would dim
And in that dark would pain become my blood.
And yet that pouring out of love, denied
Is substitute for more intense desire,
The need for lust itself to be untied
And touch inflame our bodies into fire.
But passions fires are banked and love is dumb,
Yet hearts need words and these rhymes give them some.

© Caitlin 2014

A hopelessly romantic fantasy of submission but this one is all mine.

“Your Mistress commands you wear this until you are with me again.” was all the note said.

Matthew looked at the contents of the envelope; one handwritten note and a simple black friendship band. He regarded it doubtfully.
‘At least it is subtle’ he thought. Tying it on his wrist was a tricky problem and involved the use of teeth but at last he got it fastened. He turned his wrist this way and that regarding the symbol of his bondage and then pushed it up under his cuff.

On the way into the office he was uncomfortably aware of the extra weight, although tiny, on his wrist. He found his eyes flicking to it as he drove.
“Still, if Mistress demands it” he reflected.

His morning was occasionally distracted by the presence of the bracelet on his wrist. He looked at it curiously wondering whether Rowena had made it herself, and as he thought of her and of seeing her that night a gentle smile fell across his face.
“Nice bracelet”, he looked up, startled, from his reverie as Marie from finance stood by his desk.
“Er, yes, thank you”, he muttered discomforted. Self consciously he tugged his shirt sleeve down to cover the friendship band up and hide the all too visible reminder of his submission.

In the afternoon he found his fingers running over it gently, turning about his wrist. A tiny link to his Mistress, loved but distant. He was her Boy, even here in the middle of his busy day.

Later, at home, he regarded it doubtfully as he stripped naked to have a shower.
‘Until you are with me’ the note had said. He left it on.

It survived unscathed, only a little damp, and he turned his wrist looking at it while he pondered what to wear to meet his Mistress. He pulled out a short sleeve shirt, as it was a warm night, and assessed his image in the mirror critically. The band simple and unobtrusive, yet marking him as an owned Boy, a possession, a plaything, Rowena’s. He was unaware of the pleasure in his face as he hurried out to meet her.

The bar they were meeting at was crowded. She was sitting at a table by herself. She had come straight from work and looked a little tired. Her face transformed as she saw him.
“Matthew”, she smiled with delight. “My Boy” she added quietly as she gestured him into the chair. She held out her hand imperiously and he put his wrist into it, the bracelet clearly on display.
“Good Boy”, her praise was sweet.

Later, much later, he found himself, naked, sore, kneeling at her feet, his head to the floor. Rowena stood over him, all tiredness vanished, refreshed by each moment she had used him, hurt him, played with him.
“Up Boy”, she lifted his head until he was looking up at her. She took his hand and stroked the bracelet knotted around it.
“Shall I release you from this now?”, she asked him gently.

He looked up at her adoringly, “No Mistress, please let me wear it”.

 

I spend quite a lot of time thinking about my role as a Domme but for once I wanted to assess what my submissive’s role is to me.

He is there to give me pleasure. Sheer physical and sexual pleasure without me needing to feel guilty or needing to provide any quid pro quo. I can lie back, so to speak, and enjoy freely what he gives.

He is there for me to play with. I can play with his body and mind and bring him to pleasure so intense he loses himself in it. I can learn to control his reactions and practise my skills at doing so.

You’ll note that as a result he is both for giving and receiving pleasure but without the automatic requirement that both parties have an orgasm in the same session or they aren’t ‘doing it properly’ that produces pressure and limits enjoyment.

He is there for me to exercise my frustrations on his body. When the world is too much for me I can take out my pain by giving it to him. That he takes this, purely for me, that he loves me enough to give me this outlet only makes me love him more.

He is there for me to own. I control him in subtle ways, taking what no vanilla girlfriend can. I have power that thrills and yet that I find myself holding back from. I will not abuse this generosity of spirit but I will treasure it as a precious gift.

This is what I want from my submissive, this is what I receive.
This is what he is for.

©Mishman of Undercover Bondage

©Mishman of Undercover Bondage

Holding him tight, feel the tension.

Happy HNT!

In the interest of full disclosure I should point out that I was sent this item free to review. However this review expresses my own personal and honest opinion and experience.

I was sent a SpareParts Joque to review from Bioconcept. The Joque  sizing, while less complicated than the Tomboi which I have reviewed previously, comes in two sizes called ‘A’ and ‘B’.  There is a chart on the website and indeed a handy video to watch to help with sizing. In my case my hip measurement would have fitted either size but my sizing was on the boundary for thighs, so taking my cue from the Tomboi sizing I opted for the larger size ‘B’.

When the arrived they came in a plain black box with a cardboard sleeve around it. All the packaging details are on the sleeve allowing it to be removed if you want to give this as a gift say. Inside the box there was the harness itself and a zip up pouch. As I have the ‘passion pink’ harness the pouch is in the same pink. The outer cardboard sleeve bears a pink sticker denoting the colour however the pink was much paler than the sticker itself, the photographs on the website give a good indication of the actual colour.

Joque close upMy first impression was that it looks like a climbing harness and the mass of straps is somewhat disconcerting. The Joque consists of a wide black waistband with the spare parts logo on the front, two narrower black straps to go around your thighs and a small triangle of silky fabric (this is the pink part of the harness) with two flaps which sit behind the dildo when in use.

A closer examination reveals that as the Joque has no buckles the straps form continuous loops with Velcro and clips to adjust it. This means that you have to step into it. I loosened off straps where I could and climbed in. I was now standing in a mass of straps.

One of the straps I had loosened was the waistband so I was now attempting to refasten the Velcro behind me. Tightening the thigh straps seemed much easier though required two hands to adjust the loop and the clip. Still it was a bit of a challenge to hold it in place and adjust it and I felt ungainly and awkward. This really required help from another person. This is offset by the fact that once adjusted the elastic is stretchy enough that one can climb out of it without unfastening it, so once adjusted it becomes much easier to slip on and off.

Next it was time for action. The rubber O-ring is slightly smaller than the Tomboi’s but accommodated my largest dildo easily enough and I tucked the flaps behind it. At this point I stepped into it and pulled it up. The dildo itself sat nicely in position and the fabric was wonderfully soft and comfortable. Mat lay down on his front and I moved behind him to slide into him. Now with weight on the harness I used the clips on the waistband to tighten it slightly, easy enough to do with one hand. Everything sat firmly and I could pound into him with pleasure.

The straps leave one’s bottom exposed although the fabric part of the harness goes far enough round that it would prevent vaginal penetration. This left me enjoying the feeling of being very nearly naked with my Boy as I made love to him.

JoqueThe waistband itself is the most bulky of the straps and is very long. I ended up with so much tucked in that I wonder if a size ‘A’ would have fitted me better; however once in place the excess seemed to sit neatly and not get in the way. The harness also sat naturally quite low under my tummy which felt a little unflattering to my womanly curves. I could have worn the Joque higher around my waist but I prefer a more natural angle for my cock in general.

In summary the harness takes a little adjusting but is then comfortable and usable without being intrusive.

Manufacturers statistics:

Materials: Nylon / Spandex / Velcro
Product Care: Hand wash or machine wash on gentle cycle
Belt: 20″ (A) – 65″ (B)
Leg Straps: 10″ (A) – 24″ (B)
Toy Size (diameter): 3.17–5.08 cm (1.25–2″)
Toy Size (circumference): 9.97 – 15.95 cm (3.92 – 6.28″)

 

Feel free to ask any questions in the comments and I’ll try to answer them.

He is naked and ready to serve his mistress. His manhood confined in a cage, locked with a key she wears about her neck. The pleasure tonight is to be hers.
“Come here”, she beckons, “bend over”.

Pulled down onto all fours he crouches nervously. Her hand strokes across his ass bringing coolness as she lubes him up. He whimpers slightly as she feels him forcing a butt plug into place. It stretches him and he struggles to accept it. She fastens a strap across it, locking into the chastity device. He has no escape from the intruder in his body.

“Now pleasure me with your tongue, Boy” she purrs, “you’ll wear that toy until I cum”.
She lies back on the bed and pulls his head down between her legs. As his face is enveloped in her sweetness she moans with delight.

As his tongue explores her folds his cock struggles to rise but the cage holds it firm. His pleasure in his mistress brings an inescapable pain, a pain only to be ended with her pleasure.
Desperately he redoubles his efforts to please and his mistress moans with pleasure as he takes her over the edge. She cums, pulling his head towards her, well served.

I remember when I was single. It was a long time ago. In those days my sex life was mine alone.

I would go to bed early, sometimes to watch TV or to read but then to lie back and pursue a story in my head, to follow it wherever it led me. Invariably I would wank myself to sleep. At one stage I remember having an imaginary lover who would come to me (through the bedroom window) every night and we would… well, let’s just say that’s my little secret for now.

I realise now how much I miss some aspects of that time. Being able to go to bed in my own bed, alone, and enjoy my fantasies to the full, acting out such parts as were possible.

My fantasies too were my own. My secrets, told to no one. Crafted to satisfy my desires. Unreal and unassailable.

Nowadays my fantasies are more hybrid. Fantasies told to my Boy are often shaped to satisfy his desires. Kinky, perverted, extreme lusts which feed his desire and allow me to give him pleasure. Fantasies here are often written to explore an idea, for the intellectual challenge or because I enjoy arousing my readers.

My own fantasies, the private ones, are hard to find time and space for. It’s rare for me to have a bedroom to myself and the time to relax and enjoy it without expectation of interruption. It’s hard for me to let my mind go these days without trying to ‘improve’ my fantasies to make them more acceptable or realistic.

I think however it’s time I tried. So I’m going to make time for me to wank. And when I find a fantasy of my own I’m going to post it here without apology. They’re not real, they’re merely fantasies but they are entirely my own.

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